does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
