I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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