I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
