I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
