im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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