You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
