I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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