hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
