It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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