Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Couch. On fire.
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