did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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