About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
