the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
