I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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