in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
