omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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