I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
