and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Ladies don't puke and tell
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
