I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
