The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
