maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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