She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
