Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
