fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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