i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
