I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
