Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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