lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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