but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
