first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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