if you like me you must not know who I am
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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