I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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