i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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