idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
please come you make the beer taste better
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
