The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
