i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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