...so i touched it.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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