He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
