He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize