Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
