i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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