I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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