I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
