Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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