I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He? As in you personified your dick?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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