dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
