I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
