I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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