Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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