ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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