can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
