It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
