I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
someone owes me an orgasm
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
