Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
