thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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