I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
