I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
