I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Too much gin, very little bucket
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
