Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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