Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
