hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
