I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
