My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
