my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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